Understanding the difference between who and whom is a common challenge for English learners and even native speakers. These two words are both pronouns and play important roles in sentence structure, yet they are used in different ways depending on their function. Mastering their proper usage not only helps improve grammar but also enhances the clarity and professionalism of both spoken and written English. This topic will explore the grammatical distinction, usage examples, and helpful tips to remember when to use who and whom.
Grammatical Roles of Who and Whom
Who as a Subject Pronoun
The pronoun who is used when referring to the subject of a sentence. A subject is the person or thing performing the action. In grammar terms, the subject does something.
Examples:
- Who is calling me?
- Who wrote this book?
- Who made that decision?
In all of these examples, who is the one doing the action calling, writing, or making a decision.
Whom as an Object Pronoun
On the other hand, whom is used when referring to the object of a verb or preposition. The object is the person or thing that is receiving the action.
Examples:
- To whom should I address the letter?
- Whom did you invite to the party?
- With whom are you traveling?
In each case, whom is not doing the action it is receiving it. The speaker is addressing someone, inviting someone, or traveling with someone.
How to Tell the Difference Easily
The He/Him Test
A useful tip to distinguish between who and whom is to replace the word with he or him. If he sounds right, use who. If him sounds right, use whom.
Example 1: Who/Whom is at the door?
- Try: He is at the door. â Who is correct.
Example 2: You gave the book to who/whom?
- Try: You gave the book to him. â Whom is correct.
This method works because he is a subject pronoun like who, and him is an object pronoun like whom.
Look for the Verb and Preposition
Another way to identify whether to use who or whom is to locate the verb and determine whether the pronoun is doing the action or receiving it. Also, if the pronoun follows a preposition like to, with, or for, it should be whom.
Examples:
- For whom is this gift? (Follows the preposition for)
- Who called you? (Subject performing the verb called)
Common Mistakes and How to Avoid Them
Overuse of Whom
Sometimes, in an attempt to sound more formal or correct, people use whom even when who is appropriate. This often results in overly stiff or grammatically incorrect sentences.
Incorrect: Whom is coming to the meeting?
Correct: Who is coming to the meeting?
Dropping the Preposition
In casual speech or writing, people often leave out the preposition that should accompany whom. This can make it harder to see that whom is the right choice.
Incorrect: Who did you give the ticket?
Correct: To whom did you give the ticket?
Who and Whom in Questions and Clauses
In Direct Questions
When asking a direct question, it’s easier to identify whether who or whom fits by checking the verb that follows or by applying the he/him test.
Example: Whom did she marry?
Try: She married him. â Whom is correct.
In Indirect Questions
In indirect questions, the same rules apply, though the structure might make the pronoun choice less obvious.
Example: I don’t know whom she married.
Try: She married him. â Whom is correct.
In Relative Clauses
Relative clauses often use who or whom to introduce additional information about a noun. Use the same rule: determine the pronoun’s role within the clause.
Examples:
- The teacher who helped me was kind. (Who is the subject in the clause)
- The student whom I mentored graduated early. (Whom is the object of mentored)
When It’s Acceptable to Use Who Informally
In everyday conversation, many native English speakers use who even when whom is technically correct. While this is generally acceptable in informal contexts, it’s still important to understand proper usage for formal writing or public speaking.
Example (informal): Who are you talking to?
More formal version: To whom are you speaking?
Historical Shift in Usage
Over time, the use of whom has declined, especially in casual speech. This shift doesn’t mean the rule has disappeared it simply means that many speakers choose simplicity over strict grammar in informal settings. Nonetheless, in academic, legal, and professional writing, using whom correctly demonstrates precision and command of the language.
Tips for Mastery
- Practice rewriting sentences using both who and whom until it feels natural.
- Use the he/him substitution test when unsure.
- Pay attention to prepositions if a pronoun follows one, it’s likely whom.
- Read professionally written materials to observe correct usage.
- Don’t be afraid to revise a sentence to avoid confusion.
Knowing the difference between who and whom adds polish and clarity to your communication. While whom may seem formal or outdated to some, its proper use still matters in many contexts. By understanding their grammatical roles, applying the he/him trick, and practicing regularly, anyone can learn to use these pronouns correctly. So the next time you’re uncertain, pause and consider: is the pronoun doing something, or is something being done to it? That answer will lead you to the right choice between who and whom.