In the neon-lit chaos of Cyberpunk 2077, where cybernetic enhancements, ruthless gangs, and dystopian corruption reign supreme, it’s easy to get lost in the grim seriousness of Night City. However, CD Projekt Red injected humor into the bleak world through surprising details, and few are as memorable or bizarre as the infamous dildo weapon. Often discovered by curious players exploring the city’s nooks and crannies, this weapon is a quirky nod to the game’s mature themes, blending absurdity with unexpected functionality. Whether you find it hilarious, outrageous, or oddly fitting, the dildo weapon has earned a cult following among fans looking for every hidden gem the game has to offer.
The Official Name of the Dildo Weapon
Sir John Phallustiff
The iconic dildo weapon in Cyberpunk 2077 is officially namedSir John Phallustiff. Yes, that’s the actual name, and it perfectly reflects the satirical edge of the game’s writing. It’s a play on words that combines a knightly title, a hint at rigidity, and plenty of irreverent humor. This melee weapon stands out not only for its appearance but also for its name, which instantly signals it’s not meant to be taken too seriously.
Why the Name Matters
Unlike most weapons that try to sound fierce or technical, the name Sir John Phallustiff leans entirely into humor. In a game filled with advanced firearms, razor-sharp katanas, and high-powered tech gear, wielding a blunt, neon-colored object with a ridiculous name is part of the fun. It fits the game’s rebellious spirit, where satire, sexuality, and shock value are tightly intertwined. It also helps break the tension in a game that can often be heavy with existential themes.
How to Find Sir John Phallustiff
Quest-Related Acquisition
Unlike most generic melee weapons, Sir John Phallustiff isn’t just lying around in the open world. It’s acquired as part of a specific side quest involving the character Meredith Stout, a corporate agent from Militech. To obtain the weapon, players must:
- Meet Meredith Stout during the main quest The Pickup.
- Side with her by using the Militech chip to deal with Maelstrom gangsters.
- Successfully build a romantic connection with Meredith after the quest concludes.
- After a certain amount of in-game time, you’ll receive a message from Meredith, and the weapon will appear in your stash or be given as a reward.
It’s worth noting that your choices in this quest line determine whether or not you even get access to Sir John Phallustiff. If you don’t follow the path involving Meredith, you may never see this weapon at all.
Not Available in All Paths
This exclusivity adds to the weapon’s mystique. Since not all players make the same decisions in their playthrough, not everyone even knows this weapon exists. That makes it a bit of a hidden treasure something that dedicated fans discuss with pride when showing off their inventory.
Weapon Stats and Combat Use
Not Just a Joke Item
Despite its absurd design, Sir John Phallustiff is surprisingly viable in close-quarters combat. It’s classified as a blunt melee weapon, and it features decent base damage, a good critical chance, and bonuses to stun enemies. Depending on your build, it can even become a reliable weapon for stealth takedowns or quick, brutal encounters.
Stats Overview
While the numbers may vary slightly depending on your level and character stats, Sir John Phallustiff typically offers:
- High stamina damage, useful for non-lethal approaches
- Chance to cause knockdown or stun
- Compatibility with melee and blunt weapon perks
So, if you’re the type who invests skill points in melee combat and blunt weapons, don’t let the novelty of the item fool you it can pack a punch.
Cosmetic and Sound Design
In addition to its combat effectiveness, the weapon’s design and sound effects add to its charm. It emits a cartoonish thwack when it lands a hit, making battles both ridiculous and oddly satisfying. Its bright, unmistakable design means you’ll always know when it’s equipped and so will everyone else around you in photo mode screenshots.
The Cultural Impact of Sir John Phallustiff
A Symbol of Cyberpunk’s Humor
Sir John Phallustiff has become a symbol of the game’s willingness to poke fun at itself and the world it depicts. Night City is a place where extremes collide poverty and wealth, technology and decay, love and manipulation. In the middle of all that chaos, a weapon like this reminds players that the game doesn’t take itself too seriously, even while tackling serious issues like transhumanism, corporate greed, and existential despair.
Fan Reactions and Memes
The weapon has generated countless memes, fan art, and YouTube videos, often focusing on players running through the city or defeating bosses using only this flamboyant melee weapon. It’s part of what makesCyberpunk 2077so replayable these small, hidden pieces of content that reward exploration, creativity, and absurdity. Few other games offer such a blend of depth and hilarity.
Is It Worth Using in a Serious Playthrough?
Depends on Your Build
While Sir John Phallustiff isn’t the strongest weapon in the game, it’s surprisingly effective if used correctly. Players who lean into melee builds especially with perks that boost blunt weapons or stamina regeneration can make good use of it. The fact that it also stuns or knocks enemies out means it works well for pacifist runs or for players who want to incapacitate rather than kill.
Style Points Over Practicality
Most players use it not because it’s the best option, but because it’s fun. There’s something incredibly satisfying about taking out a heavily armed cyberpsycho using a bright pink novelty weapon. In that sense, it’s about the experience rather than raw numbers. If you like standing out in Night City, this weapon is a must.
Sir John Phallustiff might be one of the most unexpected items inCyberpunk 2077, but that’s what makes it memorable. It encapsulates the game’s irreverent tone, hidden depth, and dark humor. More than just a gag, it’s a reminder that even in the gritty, high-tech world of Night City, there’s always room for a laugh. Whether you keep it in your stash as a trophy or make it your go-to melee weapon, it will always spark conversation. And really, isn’t that what makes a legendary weapon cyberpunk or otherwise?